8 posts from January 2008

Today I was shopping.  I went to a mall store to return something I had ordered from an on-line store.  I waited in line, looking around the store and yawning a lot.  I don't think that I was particularly bored by the store, just sleepy from a general lack of one of my most precious spiritual practices: sleep. 

It was a strange visit.  I usually notice little things that happen around me, many strange and many ordinary.  But this was a particularly strange visit to a mall store.  As I stood in line waiting and yawning, a man approached me from the side to tell me that someone would be with me in a moment.  He had just recently been behind a register, and I had wondered a little bit why he was standing there doing paperwork while I waited in line.  But, not wanting to suffer from and complain as a result of typical American it's-all-about-me syndrome, I waited.  He approached me mid-yawn, so I didn't actually hear what he said.  You know how those deep, I could get in the bed right now and fall fast asleep yawns go.  I looked at him and said, "What did you say?"  He stepped back and said, "I'm sorry--did I startle you?"

I was impressed that he said startle.  I startle easily, and when I was growing up and someone would startle me, I would always say, "You scared me!"  My dad would always say, "That didn't scare you; it startled you."  Thanks to Mom and Dad for helping us figure out how to say the right thing every time. 

But I digress.

So, when I reassured the nice man that he had not, in fact, startled me (he should see me startled: I look and act scared out of my mind!), he let me know that someone would be with me shortly at the counter.  I guessed that he meant that someone other than himself would help me since he clearly had more important things to do.  So, I continued to wait, looking at the jewelry on sale and innocently overhearing the conversation going on at the counter--something about cats and how long you can be away from them before they get "upset with you." 

When I stepped up on the heels of the woman ahead of me, the cashier said, "Do you have a cat?"  I spent about .25 seconds looking at her in disbelief that this was the first thing she said to me.  Then I handed her the item I wanted to return and said, "No.  I'm allergic."  Do you know what her response was??

"Well, go down there then.  Hee hee."

She pretended to publicaly chastise me by sending me to another imaginary sales associate at another cash register (hadn't she seen the other guy walk away while I yawned?) for not having a cat in my home.  What part of "I'm allergic" did she not understand?  Why would I make myself suffer from cronic hay fever with full-on itchy, watery, red eyes and a constantly stuffy nose just so I could be a "cat person?"

"I don't know what it is about today," she said.  "There have been a lot of cat people in the store today.  What about dogs?  Do you have one?" 

"No.  Allergic."  And then, for a reason I can neither explain nor fully understand, I added: "It's even 2 different allergies.  Cats give me sinus trouble and itchy eyes.  Dogs trigger my asthma."  I think she made a mental note of my name and face on her "People I Don't Like" list at that very moment.  "I'm sorry--I was born this way," I said, trying to win back her approval or at the very least decent service.  She never made eye contact with me again.  She did the return, gave me the receipt, and sent me on my way to shop, mentioning something about a sale in words she clearly had to shove out the side of her mouth as she walked away from me. 

So, I started to look around.  Just a little.  I had some time.  They had a sale; I'm a sucker for sales.  I found a few things I thought it would be nice to have, especially since they were on sale!  And, I found a good replacement for what I had ordered from their virtual catalog that had turned out to be a dissappointment in real life.  As I gave my chosen pieces to a different, much more friendly cashier at the counter when I was ready to leave, she began the process of folding them nicely and stacking them neatly so that she could easily scan their prices and wrap them in tissue, preparing them for the nice bag she would give me to carry to my car.  We made small talk about the music playing in the background.  It has been getting on my nerves the whole time I had been in the store--some strange melodies played on what I imagined to be some large, oddly shaped wooden flute played in a forest somewhere far away where indigenous folk walked up, grabbed logs and reeds nearby, and joined in.  Someone had snuck into the forest to record this jungle-sounding wrap session, and we were suffering through it in this upscale mall store, each track louder and more annoying than the last.  The sales associate and I discussed how bothered we both were by the music, but she clearly won the prize.  It had been playing since right after Christmas--just 2 CDs of this stuff playing over and over.  I don't know why she had not gone insane before today and started climbing the walls or swinging from rack of over-priced cotton sweaters to rack of silver-toned "dress pants." 

I actually like some of the clothes in the place--it's kind of hit-or-miss.

Anyway, today was a hit.  A nice sweater and a pair of pants, both on sale, were going home with me.  I also had found a good replacement for my return item, and when she scanned its price, we both discovered that it did not cost $29.50 as the tag announced.  In fact, it cost $9.99.  She looked as surprised as I did, and she asked if I wanted to grab another color or 2.  I did, so I walked over to the table.  And the mean cat lady re-entered my life.

As if I were trying to tuck a few of the items under my coat and run out of the store, she trotted after me from the counter, telling me in a loud voice that the other colors were from the spring line and were not on sale.  "In fact," she announced to the whole store, "I don't think that price is correct anymore.  You must have found the only one in the whole place that still scans in at that amount."

I was wounded.  Why was she calling me out on being happy about saving money?  Was I being accused of trying to cheat them out of $20 for a white, sleeveless tank that probably cost less than $5 to spin?  Or, and this is what I really believe, was she still trying to punish me with public embarrassment because cats make my nose stuffy and my eyes itch? 

I didn't really feel marginalized or abused.  I just felt that this was a mean lady who probably lives with 27 cats and looks down her nose at people who "don't understand." 

Well, I don't.  But I got a nice pair of pants that I'll probably wear on Sunday, a nice sweater and tank that I'll probably wear tomorrow, a bracelet for $4 that will look really cute with anything, and a good deal on all of it.  And it's all wrapped up nicely in tissue paper and carefully placed in a bag with string handles by a nice sales associate who doesn't care if I have any cats.  God bless her.

If you are wondering why that is special enough to write about, I might say that I live in Georgia where we haven't seen snow that stuck to the ground in years.  We had several inches of snow about 15 yeas ago and called it a "blizzard".  The world stops in the South when white flakes of precipitation fall from the air.  The local news channels pre-empted their regular programming for 'round the clock weather reporting. 

That's the best part.  Everything stops.  People stay in their houses and relax.  Or they go outside and play and then come inside and warm up.  And then we go out and take pictures of it, because who knows when it will happen again:

They're not kidding!

I found this coin purse/wallet at my office the other day, just outside the door.  I was almost knocked over by the irony of it: if only all the ends and odds of utopia could be contained in a bag this small with a zipper on the top so that we could take out and put in whatever we want, whenever we want. 

It made me think about what my idea of utopia is.  The dictionary says that "utopia" is first an "imaginary and indefinitely remote place, second a "place of idea perfection especially in laws, government, and social conditions," and lastly an "impractical scheme for social improvement."  I don't remember a lot about high school social studies or government class, but I do remember the disappointment I walked away with the day we discussed this word and how it wasn't really something we do or should hope for.  Why?  I guessed it was because as soon as we got our heads wrapped around utopia, it would stop being utopia because we'd find a way to make it not-so-perfect or idealized. 

Still, I'm struck by my own desire (and therefore, I imagine, the desire of many of you, too!) for my own place of perfection.  What would it be?

• I could sleep as late as I wanted to every day and not have to get started on anything until I was good and ready once I got out of bed.
• I could make a day, week, or month out of reading and not feel guilty for not doing something else more active with my time.
• I wouldn't need any money to survive.  In fact, no one would; money would no longer be a tool of segregation for any reason in society.  (Wait...that's starting to sound like the 3rd definition--I'm already in trouble!)
• My work would never bug me.  Every day would feel like my Fridays when I'm usually grateful for a day of resting from schedules and appointments but gladly recall the pastoral and theological things that I do every day.  I would write when I wanted to, not when I had to.  Sermons would be given around tables sometimes, instead of from pulpits--although I reserve the need for a pulpit from time to time.
• We would feel differently about dying.  Today I visited someone who was dying; in fact, he died soon after I left.  And there was a spirit of freedom in the home wrapped up in the anxiety of waiting for someone to die.  I would choose freedom, and we wouldn't feel anxious or hurt when loved ones died.  We'd feel free to remember them and free to let them go to the next thing, assured that we'd be there, too, someday.
• Books would only be available in libraries so that everyone could/would read them.  BUT, libraries would have local coffee baristas behind a side counter surrounded by couches and comfy chairs-and-halves (how DO you pluralize that?)  What I'm trying to say is that libraries would become Barnes & Noble, but still free to everyone.
• Everyone would have free access to healthcare.  Everyone.
• MARTA would actually be a helpful form of public transportation.
• And when I've been driving for hours and am ready to get there already, I really could just pick up the road like a hallway runner and pull it toward me, severely shortening the distance between where I am and where I want to be.
  

Uh-oh.  I think my coin purse is full. 

I normally don't read very fast.  In fact, I timed myself once in college and discovered that (at least, when studying...) I read about 30 pages in an hour and about 100 pages in 3 hours.  This does not bode well for my love of reading.  Of course, that was when I didn't really love reading like I do now because I was reading so much all the time--things I that I wasn't choosing for myself. 

ANYWAY, maybe things are turning up.  I think this might be some kind record for me, but in the last 3 weeks, I've finished 2 books.  Granted, I had started one of them earlier (like a couple of months ago!), but finishing 2 in a matter of weeks is fun to say.  "I finished 2 books in a matter of weeks!"

The first one I started to read because I had started it before several times and never finished it then saw it in a movie and was "inspired" I guess to actually finish it:

I had seen the BBC movie, and then I saw that movie about Jane Austen's books...what's it called?... Oh, yeah: The Jane Austen Book Club.  (Why couldn't I remember that?)  I wanted to read the other novels of hers I hadn't read or hadn't finished, and quite frankly, this one is short.  But let me say, before I begin to sound like I just learned to read last year, I wanted to accomplish it before the end of the year, and knowing how I read, I figured a shorter one was the best place to start.   What I liked as much as anything about this book were Jane's occasional musings on society in the dialogue shared among the characters.  She was one more astute observer of the world.

Yesterday I finished this one:

It's a light little story about a woman in London who gets "sacked" and starts her own business running other peoples' lives while hers falls into a mess.  With some original plot elements, what I really enjoyed about this book was the humor and clever-ness with which Ms. Browne writes.  I might be looking for her name the next time I'm looking for a light, clever book to read.

Now I'm going back to several things that have been "pending" on my night table for months (a year, in some cases!):

I started this series last year and got Dave's aunt hooked on them, too.  If you shop at a dangerous level, read these. 

At the suggestion (and loan!) of a friend, this is interesting.  I took a break at Christmas.  Time to make the donuts again.

And, finally, for work and because I'm digging it:

I've started a book club with this one.  People seem interested.  I'm almost finished with it...  That will be 3 in a month!!!  OMG...

What have you read lately?

From my sister, who has two blogs: I accept your challenge...

1. Coolest birthday you remember: It's a toss up (isn't it always with me?).  I remember a birthday party in the basement of one of our houses (I think the one where the famous "2 x 4 incident" took place) where I got to invite some friends over and also my uncle and aunt who lived nearby.  I got a very cool retro (for the 80s--which means a T-model style!) Barbie car.  I also remember one in high school where my friends came over, we had cake and ice cream and actually played hide and seek in the front yard, on Main Street, in Madison, Georgia.  Those were the days...

2. Buy a house somewhere (London???) for "retirement" and "vacations" and such...
3. Go to London (see #2) as much as possible

14. What's one thing you'd like to learn to do in 2008?  Fly an airplane so I could visit my soon to be "nephew" in Tempe, AZ.  And I could go to London whenever it called.  See #7.

Anybody else want to try???

You know how I know it is going to be a good year?  Hmmm.....let's see:

1.  My Christmas Cactus bloomed this year...for the first time.  It was given to us on Dave's birthday 4 years ago--August 2003.  Our friend Millie brought it to our house for the party I threw for Dave.  It was a great party--all his friends came into town from Alabama, and we had a nice dinner together.  Our first god-daughter was there, too.  But there was always something about that house--it was dark.  There really wasn't much natural light which made for lower power bills in the summer time but puny plants all the same.  I put it in the window where the most light snuck in for about 20 minutes in the morning, but for 3 years all it seemed to do was collect dust.  There would even be a faint hint of a bud on the tip of the ever-so-often leaf, but nothing.
    This year we're in a new house, back on our side of town, with lots more light in our home, both plaster and soul.  I haven't been any more faithful about watering it as often as I should since we moved.  And I haven't talked to it more or paid it any more attention that I ever did.  And this year, we had beautiful, red, full, bright, life-giving blooms on the tip of every strand of prickly cactus.  It was a truly a vision.

2.  Georgia played in a bowl game and beat the pants of their opponent.  (My apologies to any Hawaii fans who may be reading this.)  It was sad, really; the other guy didn't come to play.  But there is much hope for a great Bulldawg football season, and that makes me VERY happy.

3.  It's cold--like actual temperatures below 20--in the South.  It's really winter.  I'd say it's been going on 10 years since we had an actual winter here.  Not that I'm necessarily complaining; it's just that I'm a "rules person" and the rule is that winter is COLD.  When I left my house this morning, the temperature was 21 and the windchill was 8.  Yay.  Brr.

4.  After it was starting to look like I would never think of or find or actually GIVE Dave anything he really wanted for Christmas, this year his gift was near the top of the list he sent to Santa.  And thanks to the family, we made it happen.  That was fun.

4.  This is the first year that I will be the only pastor of my church.  They've been through a fair amount of turmoil in the past few years, and this year is my year.  2008 is the the beginning of my stamp, my presence.  And I'm really excited about that.  Aww...the girl is finally growing up.

5.  I got to sleep in on New Year's Day.  Even though the sun was POURING through the window and my tightly closed eyelids, I spent the whole of yesterday feeling rested and peaceful.  It's a great beginning to the new year.

I hope it's a good one for you.  I wish you joy and fulfillment in 2008. 

Happy New Year!